FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The Olympian is in my bed
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