Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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