I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
