Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
