i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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