I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
