imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dignity is for republicans.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
