I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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