dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize