just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
