Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
