Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
