Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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