seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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