No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
