so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
