i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
