ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
