i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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