this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
