So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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