I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
