Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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