why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
