she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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