So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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