I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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