Having a random hookup so left but love u
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
