school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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