I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
