sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
