i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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