I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
