VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
