3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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