Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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