Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can feel your judgement through the phone
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
