You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
