I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
