Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I touched a dick in church today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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