considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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