All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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