I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
