I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think people are normalizing furries
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
