Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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