I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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