Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?