She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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