babies were throwing up all over the place
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
