Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk