I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's rum buckets o'clock
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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