She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
