like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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