a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just want nice things and good sex
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize