New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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