How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
