The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
