My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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