well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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