How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
