Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
