why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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