so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
