She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
