my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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