Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize