I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
