Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
