ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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