You can't motorboat a personality
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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