I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
