we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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