Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
