thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
