he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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